Japanese Word of The Day "Shigataganai"

Shigataganai. That is a Japanese word. It is kind of fun to say really. Break it down to sylables. Shi-ga-ta-ga-nai. Keep the intonation flat, give each sylable equal length and stress. Now say it Shi Ga Ta Ga Nai. Feels good in the back of your throat, doesn't it?




Now, what it means. It means "It cannot be helped." "Que Sera Sera" "What will be will be." You can believe things happen for no reason what so ever. You can figure that they happen for a specific purpose. You can believe that all is random, chance, that is really doesn't make a damn bit of difference one way or the other. You might be the one that stands in the middle of the street with the rain pouring buckets down on your head screaming, "WHY ME? WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS!"



I think things happen for a reason. You know, a place for every thing, a thing for every place. For instance, you are standing in line at your local supermarket. You aren't in any particular hurry, but you don't want to stand in line all day. There is an odd old lady in front of you. She is wearing a shaggy, dirty coat and carried a monstrous old purse. Has one thing on the counter, you have two, in the back of your head, you think that your are nearly outta here and on your way to where ever it is you happen to be going. That is when it happens. She has a total of a dollar and seven cents. That is when she starts digging in this huge bag for change. At first it is a quarter, then a dime, a nickel of two, then suddenly, she is pulling out pennies. One at a time. STOP!, I'LL PAY FOR IT! JUST MOVE! But you don't. You stand there, getting hotter and more pissed by the clink of each penny on the counter.



Here is where Shigataganai comes into play. It cannot be helped. Maybe, just maybe, this extra minute, maybe ninety seconds that holds you up could be doing one of two things. One, when you leave the supermarket, jump into your car and get stuck at all the lights before you can get on the highway and off to where ever the hell it was that you were headed to, you missed the big guy driving the Volkswagen mini-bus who dropped his cell phone, and bent down to pick it up, swerving over the center line just where you would have been ninety seconds ago. Whew! That old lady with the bag of pennies just saved your life! And you were pissed at her! Imagine that! Or, on the the second thing that could happen. You get in line in front of the old lady, you rush out the door of the supermarket and run right into a gang banger heading into the market. You piss him off, and he pounds the shit out of you.



Now think about it. Did the old lady save your life, or because she got held up by someone who was trying to help her decide which can of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup was the freshest, the reason you got your ass kicked?



Everything is so easy to understand in retrospect. You just have to remember tho, don't think about it too much, you'll start to analyze everything. Just remember one thing. Shigataganai.

Japanese American Idol

I was invited by a Japanese friend to a free outdoor concert today. I got to the spot on time, but the bands were behind and I had to wait over an hour for my friend to get his equipment set up so he could play for about 20 minutes.  After he was finished playing, he asked me what I thought. I told him that he could probably make it on the season's first show of American Idol, but I wasn't sure if he'd get any further. He took it as a compliment. I'm glad I didn't lie.

Digital vs. Analogue TV

  Let me get this straight. We have wireless internet, wirelsess phones, wireless remotes, wireless printers, faxes and music. Now, they force me to ditch my wiresless TV and pay for them to bring me a wire into my house so I can watch TV. Boy, this is really starting to make sense now, isn't it?

Take a Number

I have this whole thing all figured out. We were given freedom of choice and we enjoy that freedom, (Why some people decided to choose a Bush for their Frightening Leader, I have no idea! but we weren't given freedom of time, and that is what it all comes down to. You probably remember going to catch a bus at sometime during your life. (Or some other regularly scheduled event over which you have no control.) Perhaps you arrived at one of three times for this particular bus you were going to catch. One, you got there just in time, paid your fare, and got on. Two, you got there just in time to watch the bus turn the corner and you missed it. Three, you got to the bus stop, and you didn't have a watch. You didn't know if you just missed the bus, the bus would be here any second, so you wait expectantly. Or, you missed the last bus, and you will never get out of Dodge.




That is the way life treats us though. Some people just know what they will be doing in life. They got lucky and caught the bus just in time. A lot of us feel like we missed the bus, and that is the way life always treats us. Damn Screwed again! Most of us go thru life though, never knowing when the bus is gonna get there, so we are fated to wait for that particular time we were destined to hook up with. Then there is the last group of us that have all missed the bus, and we don't even know it. Hey, the bus is a bitch, isn't it?



Now we get back to timing. This is where we all are on a lot of things. Who are you gonna marry? You search, and you wait. Then, for one brief moment, the universe comes together and you and another person arrive at the same place and time at the same place and time. Bam, you fall in love. Not as romantic as destiny, but there you have it. Timing.



Timing. Timing. Have you seen the movie or program where you see this dog trotting along the road, smelling flowers, posts, other dog's butts, you know, bopping along and being a dog? Then the camera cuts to this delivery truck. The driver is late; he is checking his watch and looking for an address. Back to the dog, still walking, still bopping, still smelling. Back to the truck, the driver is still in a hurry, still lost and still looking for an address, but not paying too much attention to his driving. Then, you have it. Bam. Truck squishes the dog. Dog is dead, or, the truck swerves to miss the dog and kills a [Choose . . . a) old woman with a shopping bag b) little boy chasing a ball or c) scantily clad woman sunning herself on the beach. ] I always choose the woman, so the dog is the one getting squished, other people choose the dog, old woman or the little boy. Anyway you picture it; (except in my case, I'm looking at the lady in the bikini) something gets squished.



That is what it is all about. That one precise moment when everything comes together. You have free choice to take what happens and do something with this moment, or just ignore it. (you can look back and see some of these "moments" that you have let slide by, you know, that special person that you should have said something to, that thing you should or shouldn't have said.) We all have them. our missed chances, or perhaps those moments that you acted when you shouldn't have. (SHIT! I should have stopped at that corner; I should have known that the fuckin' cop would be waiting behind that sign!) But the time is past, and we have what we have. And, someplace along the way, we will have another one of these "moments" where we will have a chance to act, not act, or just be oblivious to the whole game and not be aware of what the hell is actually going on. Maybe that last group is really the lucky ones, the oblivious. So, take a number!

Cougars and the Lolita Complex

(This is a photo  of young ladies in Japan who are fans of the style "Loli-con" or Lolita Complex)

I turned 59 years old this year. I am no longer in the market for a cougar. I am becoming more and more interested with females afflicted with the Lolita Complex however.
Note: Loli-con comes from the words "Lolita (Loli-) and Conplex (con) It is a form of  high school and college style of fad dress. The girls here are probably in college or perhaps even office workers. Japanese take words and parts of words out of context and apply them to a concept. I am not saying that these girls are involved in any particular sex act, they are merely dressing in a popular style. 40 years ago, the men wore Ivy League style shirts and adopted a particular life style called Ibi, or Ivy. Today many girls are Gothic inspired or Goth. The word manicure in English means to have your fingernails done, to the Japanese manicure simply means nail polish. The girls pictured wear little girl type clothing popular in Alice and Wonderland. They carry around very large teddy bears and wear hoop skirts. This does not mean that they prefer older suitors over persons their own age. It is a form of cosplay (costume play where in the USA, they would be going to comi-con (Comics Conplex or Comic Convention, I am not sure of the etemology of this word, but it should give you the idea.).

Lasar Hair Removal

The biggest problem with Lasar Hair Removal is that you can never go retro again. Ever try to get a wig made for down there?

Only A Man Would Try This!!!

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife... A guy who purchased
his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked
my interest...
The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little
something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a
100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized tazer.

The effects of the tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no
long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time
to retreat to safety....??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.
loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button.
Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the
button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd
get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the
prongs.
AWESOME!!!
Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is
on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that
it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently
(trusting little soul)while I was reading the directions and thinking
that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving
target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a
second) and then thought better of it.. She is such a sweet cat. But,
if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself
against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as
advertised. Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading
glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand,
and tazer in another.
The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient
your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms
and a major loss of bodily control; and a three-second burst would
purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of
water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the
batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5"
long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy
AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no
possible way!'
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best ...

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one
side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second
burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I
decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I
touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and ...

HOLY MOTHER OF.. . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE ....!!!

I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up
in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and
over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the
fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples
on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under
my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs!
The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging
to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an
attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the
living room.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a tazer, one
note of caution: there is NO such thing as a one second burst when you
zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged
from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor! A three
second burst would be considered conservative!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at
that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and
surveyed the landscape.
My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The
recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it
originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still
twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my
bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.. I had no control over the drooling.
Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for
sure, and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above
my head, which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my
testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!

P.S... My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift
and now regularly threatens me with it!
If you think education is difficult, try being stupid !!!
(Feel free to copy and pass along.) Thanks to Carole Idris