Sesitivity

Life is like a banana. You peel away the phony exterior, and then some monkey comes along and takes a big bite.

I Know When God Speaks To Me

God speaks directly to me. I know that it is him because out of abslolute respect, all of the other voices become silent, so they too won't miss a word.

Things I Didn't Do Today

1 I didn't pick a camellia because I liked it where it was.
2 I didn't tell an old woman who was using two canes to cross the street how beautiful I thought she must have once been. I also didn't tell her I could still see how pretty she was, although perhaps I should have.
3 I didn't spray a bug in my window with hair spray, (I didn't have any insectecide) to kill it. Instead, I opened the screen and let him out.

Imaginary Friends

They say it is normal for a child to have an imaginary friend. My childhood was far from normal, but I admit, I did have an imaginary friend; his name was Skaw Kaw. He still comes around to visit me, useulally to offer encouragment in times of trouble. He is over fifty years old now, and still a great buddy. He introduces me to new imaginary friends, the last one he brought by is Felicia. It is always a positive thing in your life to have an imaginary girlfriend, especially during nights when you can't sleep.

My Car is because of Over-Compensation

I drive a wimpy subcompact car with no power. My shrink tells me it because I'm overcompensating for my extra-large genetalia.